Why You Should Have Less Discipline: The Psychology of Achieving Your Goals
Hustle culture is the viral content these days. Our generation has a desire to accelerate the route to success, encouraged by the internet’s showcasing of young millionaires buying penthouses and sports cars. Comparison is an epidemic, and discipline has become our remedy.
However, studies reveal that discipline alone isn’t enough to sustain a behavioral pattern. If a goal is cognitively strenuous, and you find yourself in cycles of high and low peaks of energy, your goal may be lacking one of these three fulfillments: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
1) Autonomy (when the pursuit is a personal choice).
Believe it or not, simply observing the success of others online and changing your habits to obtain that same success, is not making a personal choice. This form of goal setting actually classifies as external motivation, a goal imposed by your environment.
Behaviors driven largely by autonomy stimulates long-term habits; Which is a hard pill to swallow because most goals we set in life are sparked either by envy or expectation from others. So, how do we know if a goal is autonomous?
A couple of signs a goal is autonomous is when you don’t feel pressured by anyone or anything to pursue the goal. Instagram models, your family, your spouse, the social clock (the age society expects you to have accomplished something). But overall, if you receive pleasure in the pursuit.
We could see it as a remarkable thing, that humans aren’t naturally designed to pursue things we aren’t meant for; that our calling is embedded within us and sends us friction whenever we’re on the wrong path.
2) Competence (the belief that the task is achievable).
Procrastination often occurs when you are trying to put off the feeling of fear that you cannot accomplish something, it is rarely because you are actually lazy. (Remember: true laziness never comes with guilt).
The feeling of incompetence can be settled by reframing how we think of a task. For instance, instead of “I have to complete this tonight” affirm, “I will practice creative freedom while doing it.”
3) Relatedness (connection to others)
This does not contradict any points made about the importance of autonomous goals. Think of relatedness as harmony with your external, rather than conformity to it.
Does your goal make you want to share it with others (collaborate in achieving it)? Do you feel a sense of belonging?
So, why should you have less discipline?
The internet emphasizes discipline over motivation treating discipline as if its a permanent state to remain in, and enjoyment like shameful indulgence.
Be less disciplined and more aligned with yourself. Because what is meant for you won’t require your misery.
